I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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