I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
