kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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