HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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