Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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