True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
tell me about the eggs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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