how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
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