we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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