do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
