Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
