Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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