i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize