So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish I only lived at night.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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