She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So squirting runs in the family.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
