Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
