Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
