non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
