Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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