If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
