remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
