the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
