You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need help removing her.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
