dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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