I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
