my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
