Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
