i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
