Sponge bath it is.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
