I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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