I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
