please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize