But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
