That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
