I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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