no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
