i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't put those talents on a resume
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