And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
