Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
