no. you can't hotbox the world.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
