My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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