We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
