my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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