i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
