he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
