Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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