Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
