what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
