Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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