I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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