i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize