And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
