Kiss
Puke
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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