What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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