Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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