So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
