I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
