Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
