sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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