Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
