yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
wow bdsm is so cute
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
