there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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