You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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