Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
