DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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