So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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