Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
