i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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